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Me weird

Facts about Mr. T - lifted from someone on jokes

Posted on 2006.01.12 at 12:52
Current Mood: workingworking
Current Music: Peetie Wheatstraw - Peetie Wheatstraw Stomp No. 2
I just needed a break, and something to make me laugh, and this fit the bill.

1. Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
2. One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.
3. The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.
4. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
5. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference however, is to walk on fools.
6. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
7. Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of his cereal.
8. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson
9. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
10. As a child MR. T used to go into the sewers of NY and hunt alligators. I know what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the sewers of NY". Yeah...Now!
11. Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T, he finds you.
12. If you have ever beaten Mr. T at a game, you obviously didn't know the rules.
13. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
14. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.
15. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
16. Death is Mr. T's way of saying 'Slow the fuck down'.
17. Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to avoid Mr. T.
18. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
19. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
20. A common and widespread form of capital punishment in olden times was known as "pitification", where fools, sometimes in large numbers were brought before Mr. T and pitied to death. Later, the process was deemed too messy and inhumane. Thus, impalement and crucifixion were invented.
21. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
22. Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.
23. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
24. Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
25. The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.
26. Someone once suggested that Mr. T's first name is Pit. His body was found 10 seconds later. The police concluded that he committed suicide by stabbing himself with a Mohawk 389 times, choking himself with a gold chain and by eating both of his own legs.
27. Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
28. Mr. T once punched his way back to the 80's just to kill Richard Simmons
29. Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
30. Mr.T has created a laxative. The box contains only a picture of Mr. T with his arms crossed but that image alone can make a person shit themselves.

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