Sad things
Posted on 2006.05.12 at 12:34Current Mood:
sad
Current Music: Justin Hinds & The Dominoes - Sitting In Babylon
Taking a break from my usual thought provoking political controversy and odd internet finds, I am having a friend related crisis.
My best friends for a long time have been a couple, Lorie and Bill. When I say a long time, I mean a really long time. We all ended up in the Boston area, but we all grew up in St. Louis and all went to the same junior high and high school. Bill and I have been close friends since we were 13. Lorie and I became friends a few years later, during our junior year. Lorie and Bill both went to college in Boston, and became a couple there. They have two great kids, boys 10 and 7 whom I have mentioned in this blog several times. I have taken care of both the boys on various occasions since they were born. They have been like my family, and were a big factor in why I moved to Boston in the first place. They have helped me through a lot of hard times, and I think I have helped them through some as well. We did many things all together, and I thought of them as a sort of quasi-family.
So when I started seeing Stefanie, Lorie was skeptical. I can accept that. The start of our relationship was rocky, to say the least. It was on again off again, there was still another guy hanging around, there was her hospital stay, and the like. I really liked Stefanie, though, and decided to see it through as far as I could, to see if anything could come out of it. I often tend to bail on things early on because I convince myself that they are absolutely going to end badly, but with this I decided (as per my therapy work) to think that maybe it might work out, maybe something good could come of me and Stefanie being together.
And it has. We are in love. I love spending time with her daughter. I have been spending a lot of my time with Stefanie and it is great.
Lorie doesn't approve.
A while ago, Lorie told me that she thought that Stefanie would hurt me, that she was severely ill, that she could never be stable, that I was putting myself in a horrible situation, and that she didn't want to be part of it. She would spend time with me, but she wouldn't meet Stefanie, and she didn't want her around her kids.
I was really hurt, but sort of understood, I guess. I thought that while this was a very harsh reaction, it came out of a place of concern. I was concerned myself. There were a lot of red flags at the beginning of this relationship, and it was absolutely proper to make sure that I saw them.
So Lorie and Bill have been avoiding me. Not returning my calls, not taking my calls. Our birthdays passed with one phone call, no plans to get together. I used to eat dinner with them once or twice a week, but I haven't seen them since March. I hadn't told Stefanie about what Lorie said, since it contained some even harsher stuff than I have written above, but it was getting embarrassing that I talked all the time about my best friends, but I never took her to meet them.
Oh yeah, Lorie has never met Stefanie.
So today I talked to Lorie, and she told me that her position has not changed. I thought that after a couple of months when she saw that I am really happier than I have been in years, that I am working well, and that things are good, she would relent. But no. She says she will get together with me if I want, but that she doesn't want to expose her or her family to Stefanie. I am devastated. I haven't heard from Bill, but my call to him to wish him happy birthday the other day went unanswered and unreturned. I guess he is on board with Lorie.
We have been friends for literally more than half our lives. Can it be over? Over this? Do they think so little of me that I would choose someone SO bad? What do they think Stefanie and I would DO to their children? What are they telling their boys about why they never come over any more?
If Lorie would make me choose like that, were we ever friends at all?
My best friends for a long time have been a couple, Lorie and Bill. When I say a long time, I mean a really long time. We all ended up in the Boston area, but we all grew up in St. Louis and all went to the same junior high and high school. Bill and I have been close friends since we were 13. Lorie and I became friends a few years later, during our junior year. Lorie and Bill both went to college in Boston, and became a couple there. They have two great kids, boys 10 and 7 whom I have mentioned in this blog several times. I have taken care of both the boys on various occasions since they were born. They have been like my family, and were a big factor in why I moved to Boston in the first place. They have helped me through a lot of hard times, and I think I have helped them through some as well. We did many things all together, and I thought of them as a sort of quasi-family.
So when I started seeing Stefanie, Lorie was skeptical. I can accept that. The start of our relationship was rocky, to say the least. It was on again off again, there was still another guy hanging around, there was her hospital stay, and the like. I really liked Stefanie, though, and decided to see it through as far as I could, to see if anything could come out of it. I often tend to bail on things early on because I convince myself that they are absolutely going to end badly, but with this I decided (as per my therapy work) to think that maybe it might work out, maybe something good could come of me and Stefanie being together.
And it has. We are in love. I love spending time with her daughter. I have been spending a lot of my time with Stefanie and it is great.
Lorie doesn't approve.
A while ago, Lorie told me that she thought that Stefanie would hurt me, that she was severely ill, that she could never be stable, that I was putting myself in a horrible situation, and that she didn't want to be part of it. She would spend time with me, but she wouldn't meet Stefanie, and she didn't want her around her kids.
I was really hurt, but sort of understood, I guess. I thought that while this was a very harsh reaction, it came out of a place of concern. I was concerned myself. There were a lot of red flags at the beginning of this relationship, and it was absolutely proper to make sure that I saw them.
So Lorie and Bill have been avoiding me. Not returning my calls, not taking my calls. Our birthdays passed with one phone call, no plans to get together. I used to eat dinner with them once or twice a week, but I haven't seen them since March. I hadn't told Stefanie about what Lorie said, since it contained some even harsher stuff than I have written above, but it was getting embarrassing that I talked all the time about my best friends, but I never took her to meet them.
Oh yeah, Lorie has never met Stefanie.
So today I talked to Lorie, and she told me that her position has not changed. I thought that after a couple of months when she saw that I am really happier than I have been in years, that I am working well, and that things are good, she would relent. But no. She says she will get together with me if I want, but that she doesn't want to expose her or her family to Stefanie. I am devastated. I haven't heard from Bill, but my call to him to wish him happy birthday the other day went unanswered and unreturned. I guess he is on board with Lorie.
We have been friends for literally more than half our lives. Can it be over? Over this? Do they think so little of me that I would choose someone SO bad? What do they think Stefanie and I would DO to their children? What are they telling their boys about why they never come over any more?
If Lorie would make me choose like that, were we ever friends at all?
